Lockdown puppy love has left us in a stinking mess. Tired of watching his and his children’s step, Jonathan Dean wants revenge on the dog owners who refuse to clear up

Jonathan DeanThe Sunday TimesJonathan DeanThe Sunday Times

I wheeled the buggy into the house, across the wooden floor, and then smelt something. Oh crap. As I blitzed it with bleach, on hands and knees, I thought of the film All Dogs Go to Heaven and wondered if, maybe, their owners go to hell.

When did our pavements become covered in poo?

On the school run last week, the shituation appeared to have escalated: we had to walk in the road because there was so much poo on the pavement. I saw some of the stuff smeared up a bin. We no longer allow the children to kick autumn leaves. Parents’ WhatsApp groups name no-go paths that are more toilet than tarmac.


Dog mess is everywhere and, as with most things, you can blame Covid-19. The Pet Food Manufacturers’ Association