When did our pavements be...

Lockdown puppy love has left us in a stinking mess. Tired of watching his and his children’s step, Jonathan Dean wants revenge on the dog owners who refuse to clear up

I wheeled the buggy into the house, across the wooden floor, and then smelt something. Oh crap. As I blitzed it with bleach, on hands and knees, I thought of the film All Dogs Go to Heaven and wondered if, maybe, their owners go to hell.

On the school run last week, the shituation appeared to have escalated: we had to walk in the road because there was so much poo on the pavement. I saw some of the stuff smeared up a bin. We no longer allow the children to kick autumn leaves. Parents’ WhatsApp groups name no-go paths that are more toilet than tarmac.

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Dog mess is everywhere and, as with most things, you can blame Covid-19. The Pet Food Manufacturers’ Association