“Howcanapersonknoweverythingateighteenbutnothingattwenty-two?”-NothingNew,TaylorSwift
Thethingnoonetellsyouaboutchangeincollegeisthatitdoesn’thappenspontaneously,norsuddenly,butthatitstartsoffasdropsofwaterfromaloosefaucet,thenaleak,andbeforeyourealizeit,you’realreadyeightfeetunderwater.Andlikewater,it’sdifficulttoforcechangeintoacertainshape,andequallyjustashardtoquantifytheentiretyofit.Sure,Icansayallthethingsyouhearsooften–I’vebecomemore“outgoing”or“confident”--butthatdoesn’tseemtobethecaseeither.Beforecollege,Ilikedtobelievewhateveryonebelievedaboutme,becauseit’saloteasierbeingtoldwhothangettingtoknowyourself.
Icalledmyselfanintrovert,whichshouldmeanthatIenjoyspendingtimewithmyself,butthetruthwasIenjoyedspendingtimewithothersfarmorethanIdidwithmyself.Myself—actuallylet’scallhim“Sven”here,becausefirst-personpronounscangetconfusing,Svenisveryhonest,andnotinagoodway.
“Howareyoudoingtoday?”
“Terrible.”
“HowdoIlooktoday?”
“Likeyourself(derogatory).”
“AmIadumbassandiseveryonehereinfinitelymoretalentedandknowledgeablethanme,andwillIneverbeabletofindajob?”
“Yes,yes,andyes.”
Asyoucansee,Svenisnotapleasantcharacter.Actually,ifwe’rebeingtotallyhonest,Sven’satotalasshat.Imaginehavingahousematewhowakesyouupat3AMeveryday,doesn’ttakeoutthetrash,insultsyouforbeinglazydespitedoingnothingthemself,andcommentsonallyourbiggestinsecurities.Now,imaginespendingallyourtime,everysinglesecond,twenty-fourseven,withthathousemate,allyourchildhood,collegeyears,adulthood,untilyourdeathbed.Yeah,Iwouldn’twanttogettoknowSveneither.
So,insteadofgettingtoknowSven,Idecidedtogettoknowotherpeople,whocouldtellmealltheyknewaboutSvenandhismisadventures,atleastfromtheirperspective.IlearnedaboutSven,includingalltherumors,andformedexpectationsabouthowSven“should”andwouldbe.It’saself-fulfillingprophecyreally.
Butthethingis,Svenisn’tallthatbad,asI’vecometolearn.Svenis,asIwouldsay,“prettychill”.TherehavebeenmanytimeswhereIhadnooneelsebutSven,buthecameinstrong.SvencomfortedmewhenIgotrejectedfrommymostanticipatedclub.Sventalkedmeintogoingtothatpoetry-danceworkshop,despitemebeingthetypeofpersontotriponaflatsurface.Svenevencheeredmeoutofthebedsomemorningsformy8:30writingclass,whichIsowantedtoskip.Sure,Svenhaspushedmeintosomeawfuldecisions,leadingtowhatIlike“Saturdaymorningregrets”,buthediditwiththebestintentionsinmind—Ithink,I’mnotactuallysure.
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I’veknownaboutSvensince,well,whenIwasborn,butI’veneverreally“known”him.Andthat’soneofthebest(andarguablyworst)thingsaboutcollege.Insteadofspendingtimewithfamily,IgettospendalotmoretimewithSven.AndnoonecanclaimtoknowSvenbetterthanIdo,becausewhilesomeofmyfriendshavegottentotalktohimforthepastfewmonths,I’vebeenstuckwithhimforthelast18yearsofmylife.Idon’tthinkcollegesomuchnecessarilychangedme(orSven),butrathersimplygaveusthespacetoknoweachother.
Evennow,I’mstilllearningfunnythingsaboutSvenI’veneverknown,likehowhepretendsVitaminWaterishealthierthanplainwater,butdeepdownknowsthatit’salljustmarketingandthathe’swastinghisfoodpoints.
Anyways,I’drecommendyougettoknowyour“Sven”.Whoknows?Theymightbealotcoolerthanyouthought.Youmightevenbecomebestroommatessomeday.
SpencerChangisaTrinityfreshman.HiscolumntypicallyrunsonalternateThursdays.
